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High Falutin’
It might have looked like Cocktail Honeys frontman Scott was a nervous wreck, chewing his fingernails before the band’s CD release party. On closer inspection, however, he was just removing glue remnants from the sticker snafu involving those very same CDs. He finished his arts and crafts project just in time to get together with the other Honeys, along with the Spills, Bring Back Joel and Chase Theory at the State Theatre July 7th. CH’s power trio of Scott - rockstar/heartthrob (careful girls, this cocktail honey’s honey is one tall can of whoop-ass) , George and Joe entertained the fans with selections from their freshly minted Stronger For The Hurt, and since we all now know that poor old Scott only makes $12,000 a year (thanks St Pete Times), it will make your conscience and your ears happy to contribute to their cause.
pop up trivia - stickers were required on the new cd cover because :
a) it was erroneously labeled “cocktailed homeless - live at the pelican pub”
b)cd’s mistakenly switched with cd-rom version of Norweigan lumberjack porn
c)original artwork on cover depicting Dave Hundley’s dental x-rays deemed too explicit by parental advisory board.
Moving on to the “Super Summer Slumber Party” July 8th. This show had the potential to live up to the hype, but somehow fell short. Organized by the sassy Billy Hell on Earth for the benefit of a Tampa woman seriously injured in a domestic attack, it promised a night of risque fun. After all, “beds” were delivered to the State Theatre days in advance, further heightening the anticipation. Perhaps the $15.00 donation kept the attendance down and didn’t provide all the bedtime fun we had anticipated. The kids that were there did a good job in keeping with the pajama theme, costumes ranged from Steven V.’s 7 ft. geisha Bo Peep to Professor Pyramid’s sleep shorts and undershirt. However, the pizza eating contest for a cruise to the Bahamas was the low point in the action. Goths and pizza just don’t mix, we thought vampires didn’t like garlic! Call us kooky, but we don’t find the sound of fangs snapping off in cold congealed cheese “sexy”. The remaining pizza tiled the floor and ended up under the stage, where the rats were ready for the main course after having Milky Way Darks as an appetizer. Hell on Earth will be hosting a Halloween in July party on the 29th. Same high admission (10 bucks in advance, $15 at the door) but this time you will be treated to Dr. Frankenglide’s Astroglide Lab, the quasi-naked contortionist, and an appearance by Gibsonton’s own Lobster Boy. Don’t forget your bibs!
If you’re a long-haired D&D freak you probably were at the Mayhem show on the 14th. Norweigan black metal seems to have turned into late 80’s Tampa speed metal a la Blackout and Osirus. We’re no experts, so maybe it always sounded like that. It was a little disappointing not to see any horned Viking helmets or pipe organs - we wanted a gimmick, damn it. They did the usual windmill head spins and Cookie Monster singing. One band dude tried to tell us that they weren’t heavy metal. Okaaayy. Next time you want to rock out on the tundra, we recommend a better Norwegian band called Turbonegro.
Is that a can of mousse down your spandex, or are you happy to see me?.....Have you noticed the flock of “relive the 80’s” summer tours? Is it because all the new bands suck, or because our prayers to the new wave gods have been answered?
Ruth Eckerd Hall is offering up the club 80’s flashback tour (aug 6th) featuring Missing Persons with Dale Bozzio (Mr. Cotton is hoping she’ll reprise the space hooker costume), Wang Chung, gene loves jezebel and the ever popular Flock of Seagulls. It’s a good lineup, but almost more for the Monday night Castle-heads. A better bet for new wave devotees is the Pyschedelic Furs at Orlando House of Blues (Aug 10th). Both Butler brothers are rumored to be in the band, hopefully they won’t get into a fight and end the tour before we get to see ‘em. Word to Professor Pyramid: you need to dust off your copy of “Talk, Talk, Talk” and realize that Richard Butler’s singing ability is secondary to his sexy sneer and the way he says “lawfs” on “Pretty in Pink”.
At the other end of the 80’s spectrum, we went incognito to the “perfect hair ball” on July 16th. Unfortunately, we were outed by Marcus of Spiller and Piper. Hmmm, who outed who? We missed opening band Slaughter, as they shocked the crowd with a prompt 6:30 start. But we did get to rockin’ with Dokken, and Cinderella packed their abbreviated set with hair metal hits. Believe it or not, we’d even see Cinderella again. Headliners Poison opened with their first biggie “Look What the Cat Dragged In”, vintage 1985. Yikes! Our comeback award goes to Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille, who has gone from a chunky Aqua-Net addict to svelte and spiky-topped. By the time the summer ends, and we’ve seen the Go-Go’s, Duran Duran and the b-52’s, our memories of Club Detroit and the Swamp Club won’t seem so distant (sniff, sniff).
we’ll see all you andies and duckies at the prom...
ooooxxxx
taffy and cotton
hey, we forgot to mention the school bus races last time but you’re in luck, they were moved to this Saturday ( 22nd), because of the rain. Don’t miss the action at the Sunshine Speedway. You’ll have a butt-load of fun, we gar-un -tee it!
Spiffy
Live foxy boxing at Grand Finale
Matchgame 76 on the Game Show Network. We could swear Gene Rayburn is drunk
Rage Against the Machine/Beastie Boys at the Ice Palace Aug.30
Digital Club Network Festival - including this weekend’s Guttermouth show at the State Theatre
Iffy
Missing Mooney Suzuki –Car Bomb Dave said they were the best thing he’s seen in a long time
Dickie Betts getting fired from the Allman Brothers - they’re nothing without him
The new “modern” sign at the Tahitian Inn.
THE END
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