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Philosophical thought for the day:
Three pieces of string walk into a bar. When they try to order, the bartender informs them that he’s sorry, but he doesn’t serve pieces of string. The three pieces of string go back outside; one of them twists its middle in upon itself, unravels one end of itself, and returns to the bar. The bartender eyes him warily, and asks:
“Hey, aren’t you one of those pieces of string that was just in here?””
To which it replies:
“No, I’m a frayed not.”
The undulating, eclectic world-groove sounds of Riddim Collision return to Orpheum next Friday, May 5; Freddy Montes and Tropical Breeze, Orchestra Matata, and Afro-beat specialist DJ double EE will provide the sonics. Doors at nine, and the cover is a mere five bones...who can stop the Rancid Polecats? Not you, sucker. Tampa’s own foine, foine purveyors of sonic putrescence will hold court at The Mug for the kind of Cinco De Mayo fiesta destined to curdle the stomach of the most stalwart quaffer of Mexican water. New full-time drummer (Dingo Boy), new tuneage (‘Buttnugget Saloon’, ‘My Girlfriend Hates Cindy Crawford’, and, of course, ‘They’re All Whores...But Your Mama’), and the strangest brand of mayhem will ensue…there will be another benefit for radio personality Lisa Cohen this Friday, April 28, at St. Pete’s Palladium Theatre; Lisa, owner of Ybor City’s 7th Heaven Psychic Café and an on-air talent who’s worked for several Bay Area radio and television stations, was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Pianist Oksana and singer/songwriter Shana will perform. A twenty-dollar donation is encouraged at the door, but for those with the means and the heart, every thousand-dollar donation will cull you your own private Oksana performance sometime this summer, be it for your wife, your garden party, whatever. In addition to music, there will be wine tasting, hors d’oeuvres, drinks and desserts, as well as an auction. The benefit’s organizers are looking for art and various other products to be donated for the auction; if you’ve got something cool to give away for the cause, contact Sheila Alexander at 813.354.9021…Pinellas rawk unit Noble Jones will be holding court at Jimmy B’s (St. Pete beach, behind the Best Western, and there’s a witty remark in there somewhere, but I’m just too tired to find it) for the next several Thursdays. There’s o cover. Check out the NJ website at http://members.xoom.com/NobleJones/ …young n’ groovy postrawk upstarts Mr. Bella have finally found themselves a new drummer in righteous citizen Josh Young who, we hear tell, is blonde and polite. Now they need another guitarist. All pro hair/pro gear/pro transpo jokes aside, interested parties must be committed, mature, attuned to the groove, and possessed of the not-suck. Being able to jump really high in time will not, repeat, not hurt your chances. Upcoming Bella shows: May 15 – Dante’s, Orlando; June 3 – Siesta Key Beach Club, Sarasota. Be sure to check out their newly updated site at www.mrbella.com …the Leonard Croon Band rock like beer-battered fried chicken. It’s true. If you don’t believe me, attend their gig at Ybor’s New World Brewery on May 13 (no cover!), or at Orpheum on May 27, where they’ll share the bill with the omnipresent Sparky’s Nightmare, who have apparently decided that taking more than a couple of minutes off between gigs is for sissies. Hey, Dave Croon, when’s that sophomore disc going to see the light of day? You guys are starting to resemble Spiller in that respect…we got suckered. That whole thing in last issue’s Localized about FunKruze signing to Thrill Jockey was bullshit. So was the bit about Mark McManus going to work for Rugrats. Thanks, Mike. Really appreciate that. I hope you get signed to Century Media…unabashed pawp cartel The Lemmings are almost done with their full-length, and will be mastering at Miami’s prestigious Fuller Sound, because credit cards aren’t just for emergencies anymore. April 29 – Neptune Lounge, Tarpon Springs; May 6 – Johnny’s Rockin’ Bistro, Casselberry; May 13, 20, 27 – The Greenery (across Fletcher from USF, nestled amid legendary party-haven University Townhouse Apartments, holy shit, I could tell you some stories). The website is the same as the name…
Wonderful fringe-show provocateur Jack Spatafora continues to deliver.
Wednesday May 3
Death Cab For Cutie
Pilots v. Aeroplanes
+ tba
8pm | $5 | All Ages
Thursday May 11
Sergio Vega (ex-Quicksand)
J. Majesty
& Althea
9pm | $5 | All Ages
Wednesday May 17
Karate
A-set
& Tomorrow
9pm | $6 | All Ages
Friday May 26
Home
Dumbwaiters
& The Boats
9pm | $5 | All Ages
All these shows will be at Orpheum, as will the May 9 Juliana Theory/Element 101/Cocktail Honeys gig, which is not Jack’s show, but gets mentioned for obvious reasons…Hangtown and drummer Kerry Toole have parted ways. Mike Anderson (who did time in Men From Earth, you may recall) has filled the slot. The band’s deal with Black Dog Records, founded by members of Blue Mountain, is solid, so look for their second disc to arrive, sporting the Black Dog logo, sometime this fall, along with the re-release of their debut, Here For Now…Elston Gunnn have returned from an East Coast jaunt which included both a slot at Boston’s NEMO Conference and an industry showcase (as opposed to a non-industry showcase, or ‘gig’) at NYC’s CBGB’s. The whole torrid tale is up for perusal at www.elstongunnn.com . Their song ‘Betraying Mississippi’ was a featured track last week at mp3.com, and two other EG tunes, ‘It Weeps In My Heart’ and ‘After The Flood’, have consistently charted on the site’s Top 40 for their genre. The debut CD, The Key To The Highway, awaits finishing artwork touches…some got screwed, some got bitter, some went home and cried, and isn’t that what competition is really all about? The finalists have been ‘determined’ for this year’s Florida Rock-Off. On May 7, the following bands will appear, in this order, at the State Theatre, to determine once and for all who among high-school-aged bands sucks and who doesn’t: Magadan, The Golden Vanity, Blindside, Desperate Cry, The Dogs. Things kick off around two pee-em, and be sure to bring your friends to cheer for you – “remember, audience vote counts for 25% of our final scores”. Last year’s winners, Nine2Life, will perform between the showcases and the announcement of this year’s champeen…’15 Interesting Things To Do With Tiny Chairs II’, from Sir Millard Mulch’s 50 Intellectually Stimulating Themes From A Cheap Amusement Park For Robots & Aliens, Volume 1, has garnered the interest of Troma Films, who might use the song in Toxic Avenger IV. Jared Whitman accidentally won an award at a University of Florida Film Festival. Prototypes of Ed Furniture’s new file-compression unit, D.E.M.I., are finally available for purchase. If none of this makes sense to you, you are most certainly not alone, but simply must subscribe to their Couch Into Space e-newsletter. No, it won’t make sense to you then, either, but it really does help ease the pressure from other facets of one’s life, where real stuff matters, and often sucks. www.edfurniture.com …message to Ed Bite Size: April 29 is a Saturday, not a Tuesday. Will you still be playing at New World with Cider (from Orlando, we hear good things) on April 29, even though April 29 is a Saturday, and not a Tuesday? Irregardless, BS will be at Ye Olden Mug on May 13, along with Sagoh, Darwin’s Tattoo, and Carnival of Souls…on May 19, The Gita and Nakedpoetry.com will double-team your sweet, sweet erogenous zones with the first of the G-Spot shows. Annie Vox: “The G-Spot concerts will meld the essential elements of music, poetry and sex into one joyous (w)hole for an evening of sonic sensation and carnal enlightenment as purring poets and passionate players conjoin to elevate, and celebrate, our most primal urges”. Oh, okay. Greed Engine, Goddess Mooncar, and numerous erotic aids will be on hand as well. Who knows what the hell will happen? Indulge your God-given drive to get some at The State. A second G-Spot gig is scheduled for June 24 at Club More, where Grin will augment the physically frolicsome fray…Unshared Worldwide, the locally-run imprint who brought you releases from The Simpletons and Althea, among others (mostly Canadian), will be releasing the debut full-length from Miami-based postpunk outfit Secret Service. The label is also still looking for bands to contribute tracks for their impending Who tribute disc…strumming storyteller Ronny Elliott will be heading north for some Nashville dates this week; he’s also got a NYC gig scheduled for May 9, when he’ll appear at The Living Room. A live Ronny Elliott & The Nationals disc is in the offing, too…posteverything guitarist/songwriter/modern music guru Xavier Rivas recently hit the wrong key whilst typing up a press release, and shall henceforth be known as Javier Rivas. No, but seriously, the eclectic, globetrotting Rivas is putting the finishing touches on his latest disc, Felicidades, which “pretty much has all of the latest happening dance rhythms”. Well, there you go. He’s also pulled together a new full-on band-type situation, to be called 30,000 Secrets. More when there’s more…Book of Shadows recently received a smashing review in the Tampa Tribune Friday Extra; they swear to God no favors were exchanged. BoS and several other local luminaries will contribute their talents to a benefit for Mack King on Thursday, May 4 at Daddy Wiggler’s (Seventh Avenue, Ybor); they’re also part of the lineup, along with KimMystrY and The Froggs, for this year’s Cancer Walk, to be held at University of Tampa’s Pepin Rood Stadium on May 19. BoS’ web address has changed to www.book-of-shadows.com, so please make the necessary changes to the ‘Favorites’ section of your preferred browser…Gunburner know a good thing when they stumble into it, so they’ve scheduled a second gig at downtown St. Pete’s Emerald for this Saturday, April 29…speaking of The Emerald, those who missed Psycho Tribe’s set last Saturday, er, didn’t get to see something really cool. Gunburner/Psycho Tribe guitarist Chris Irvin: “We’ve had four practices and two shows, but we need to even things up. So we need two more shows”…The Gotohells have been playing out more than usual locally, warming up for an eminent tour. New guitarist/vocalist Andrew Something is fitting in unbelievably well, in my opinion, and several new songs are being finely out-of-tuned on stages around the Bay. Their last gig before they take off will be at Orpheum on Friday, May 19. Sage will definitely be there to provide support, and Nutrajet and Cocktail Honeys are purportedly holding a beer drinking contest sometime next week to determine who will be the third band, with Joe putting his Budweiser-swallowing ability up against Woody’s almost preternatural prowess with Beck’s non-alcoholic brew. Hopefully, they’ll both be there…new altrawk outfit The Spoils, featuring former Silver frontman Kole Kruger, have rounded out their lineup with the addition of drummer Eric Lancaster. The now-quartet gives it’s debut performance at Clearwater’s Gasoline Alley on May 19, and will return to the Alley two days later to take part in the venue’s Eighth Anniversary Concert, a monster outdoor affair celebrating all things Alley. Stone Ginger, Noble Jones, The Rokkerz, Stur, Koncrete Kite and others will also turn out for this one, headlined by Pat Travers (you might want to consult the oldest, stonedest sibling in your family for more information regarding him). 98Rock will be on hand as well…By rote: “The Suncoast Swing Gang is looking for swing DJ’s for all of the events it sponsors, including Swing Sundays at the Italian Club. DJ’s should have broad & extensive music collections that appeal to a diverse audience. Sound equipment and good public speaking skills are a plus. If you’re interested in auditioning or know someone who is, please respond to events@swingnews.com”…new “power trio” Sheer Octavia (Greg Thompson, guitar/vocals; Timothy T. Cook, percussion/vocals; J. B. Greene, bass/you guessed it) will be “rocking with their heavy groove” at Gasoline Alley on May 7 from 8-9 PM. CD’s will be available…veteran blues ripper Molten Mike’s new disc, The Movie, is out. His release party was held last week at Orlando’s House of Blues, and the eleven-cut disc should be available everywhere by the time you read this. www.moltenmike.com …Bay area groovecore outfit MIND have picked up bassist Perry Meehan. The group describes their sound as “a cross between Limp Bizkit and Sevendust”. I’m speechless. Look for ‘em to return to playing out shortly…St. Pete’s Fusion Gallery (540 Central Ave.) is proud to announce their new exhibition, Identity, which features a new series of works by enigmatic artist Bask. The opening reception is scheduled for seven pee-em on May 13; it is not known at this time whether or not there will be snacks.
Ask, ponder, fret. Has Saucerman hooked himself up with the bass gig for Denton, Texas-transplanted mood-rawk instrumentalists Lite Brite Highway? Rumor has it the trio was one of the first acts signed to Man’s Ruin honcho Frank Kozik’s new label, 2 Ohm Hop. Can such a studio-pale, knob-intensive kind of guy handle the rigors of the road? Will his wife kill him? Who knows? Speaking of wives and killing, Crizzy has been seen out and about sans the lovely Deb; all sorts of Manhattan Murder Mystery zaniness may now ensue. Did the recent Brainiac’s Daughter showcase at The Sapphire Supper Club, for suits from Island/Def Jam, cause the necessary stir? Who the hell is playing drums and bass? Is the Central Skatepark pissed at us? Why don’t we get their show schedules anymore? What’s up with those Death Rains Honey offshoots? No shows? Still together? And hey, remember Honeyweed? C’mon, gentlemen, Shawn said the new stuff will, and I quote, “Blow your head off”. I’m waiting. Have the rawkshows at Spurs in Ybor been making waves? Is there really chicken-wire around the stage? God, I hope so.
Our love, strength, and condolences to the friends and family of George Umberto. He will be deeply missed.
Weakfish@compuserve.com
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